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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?